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Tuesday, April 1, 2025

He’s Green She’s Green: Veggie Dogs & Burgers

What would a 4th of July celebration be without traditional meaty burgers and hot dogs? A great time, for people and animals! Find out which delicious veggie dogs and burgers you should bring to your next BBQ!

Qrunch burger

Quinoa burger (USDA Organic)

qrunchfoods.com

She Said: Wow! Tasted like a crispy, breaded chicken patty. The flavor is almost too mild, but with a salad bar of toppings and a bun, you’ll have quite the qreative, qomplete-protein, qulinary burger!

4 stars

He Said: Hi boys and girls! Do you fear flavor? Are you afraid to eat food because it might have too much zing? Well, good news, we have a product for you. These Qrunch quinoa burgers had zero taste what-so-ever. They did have a nice crunch and could probably be dressed up to be really good but, by themselves, very blah.

2 stars

VianaViana_franks

Smoked veggie frankfurters (USDA Organic)

wholefoodsmarket.com/blog/whole-story/whats-new-grocery-aisles-may

She Said: Frank-tastik flavor explosion! These look and feel like a “regular” hot dog, but with a more complex German smokehouse flavor. They were a bit on the dry side, but that’s nothing ketchup can’t fix.

4 stars

He Said: This is probably as close to a real frankfurter as you can get in the non-meat aisle. The spices were spot on, and for a split second there I thought I was eating the real deal. The texture was a bit off – lighter and fluffier than the real deal – but nevertheless delicious.

4 stars

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Tofurkysausagebeerbrat

Beer Brats

tofurky.com/tofurkyproducts/sausages.html

She Said: How can you go wrong with food doused in beer? Well, these were tasty, but they were lacking that “brat” bite. The texture was a little on the mushy side too. A little sauerkraut and extra grill time would make these veggie brats BBQ-party worthy.

3 stars

He Said: I grilled these up and they were delicious, but calling them a beer brat is a bit of a stretch. They were airy and light like tofu with a good flavor, but they never once made me think I was eating anything close to a beer brat. The package recommends cooking them in beer for a better flavor, but I wasn’t willing to waste a beer trying.

3 stars

Organic Sunshine Burgersburger-hemp

Breakfast Hemp & Sage (USDA Organic)

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sunshineburger.com/products/hemp-fest-breakfast-patty 

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She Said:  I liked the firm meat-like texture and slight crunchiness of these hippie hamburgers. They were stuffed with great ingredients like adzuki beans and raw sunflower seeds, and a lot of hemp, apparently! I’d try these in a different flavor, but the hemp was too funky for this flower child.

3 stars

He Said: These burgers were full of nuts and twigs, they contain hemp, and are called Sunshine burgers. Could they be more hippie? I submit that they cannot. In spite of their hippie-ness, they were actually pretty good. Out of the burgers we reviewed, they were the closest to having that real burger texture. The flavor was a little strange, but I kind of expected that.

3 stars

Ashera’s Gourmetag_cvb_pkg_temp

ChipotleVegan Burgers (USDA Organic)

asherahsgourmet.com/index-1.html#products 

She Said: Loved the fiery chipotle zing, and good-for-you flax and quinoa ingredients. The texture is perfect for babies or denture-clad folks! Mushy, soft, squishy mish-mash of veggies. Not very appetizing.

1 star

He Said:

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I tossed these on the grill and tried my best to be delicate, but still gave up quite a bit of each patty to the grill gods. Then, after gingerly removing what was left, I brought them in and sunk my teeth into what can only be described as a chipotle-spiced clay disc of awful.

1 star

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