BY JENNIFER & JOHN BURKHART
Aye, Aye, Captain!
A great way to honor Earth Day this month is to find a more eco-friendly way to do things that you already do. It could be something simple — like swapping out your old incandescent light bulbs (they DO still exist) for LEDs or favoring non-toxic laundry detergent sheets over liquid detergents in bulky plastic containers. But maybe you’ve done all that and want to up your game. Well, you could gather your family or friends and have a “green” outing, like renting an electric boat! Obviously, a sail boat would be the best Earth-friendly option here, but since neither of us know how to sail, we decided to captain a little battery operated vessel and take a serene tour on the river.
He Said: We decided to take an aquatic adventure this month and rented an E-boat. Not a yacht. Not a speed-boat. An electric boat. Top speed: 7 miles per hour. That’s the speed of a motivated duck, by the way. I know this because a duck caught up to us trying to see if we had any food. We rented this speed demon from a local river boat company. They tossed some life jackets at us and gave some operational instructions, which were brief, because this boat had only a steering wheel and a lever for forward and reverse. The worker shoved us off the dock and I punched the accelerator forward, expecting the surge my electric car has in sport mode. Nope. We puttered out of the marina so slowly, Jen asked, “Are we moving?” “I think so,” I responded. At this point I realized we were taking this floating motor couch onto a major river. I started having fears of being run over by a speed boat or an oil tanker. Technically, I was the captain. Did that mean I had to go down with the ship if we sank? Thankfully, the river was empty except for a few yacht tubs (a hot tub boat). I wouldn’t mind trying that next, Green Living… wink wink. We cruised around taking in the sights from a perspective rarely seen, and it was lovely. The time clicked by quickly and soon I had to dock this pig. Now, with a regular boat, you usually have a loud motor that drowns out the people on the dock saying, “Hey, that guy has no idea what he’s doing!” Not with an electric boat, though. After multiple humiliating attempts, I managed to line our boat up with the dock and get it tied on…phew! A small child on the pier gave me a thumbs up in the way one encourages a toddler who has successfully used a spoon. And yet, as I stepped off the boat, hair mildly wind-swept (from our blistering duck-speed), I felt oddly triumphant. Would I rent one again? Absolutely. Not because I mastered it — I did not — but because for two gentle, humming hours, I experienced the rare luxury of moving slowly on purpose.
She Said: I know power boats are very fun and exciting, but they blast gross exhaust into the water and the air. And who wants to lose their hats, sunglasses, and a perfectly aligned spine anyway? We enjoyed a much calmer boating experience on an electric 10-seater vessel. It felt weird to be handed a boat when I have no experience being a captain, other than in video games! But after a quick intro, we were off and it was clear that steering would be a piece of cake, especially at a top speed of 7 miles per hour. It was fun to see the city from a different perspective, especially floating underneath bridges. Sure, we got a great look at the architecture, graffiti, and bird poo, but it was fascinating how the cars driving above sounded oddly like thunder! We had fun waving enthusiastically at boats cruising by and had plenty of giggles as we tootled around, often spinning donuts until dizzy. This little boat had a party vibe to it and is best suited for sharing with friends or family. Plenty of seating, a couple of tables and cup holders, and a bluetooth speaker lend themselves to a good time. And yes, of course we played sea shanties and talked like pirates! How could we not? We really enjoyed this adventure and recommend anyone to try it out. There’s just something about being out on the water. It’s relaxing, especially if you’re on a craft that is quiet. ‘Tis Captain Jen — fare thee well, me hearties — ‘till we cross paths again!
